What makes a man a Man? When I was 20 I thought a man was someone who went to work, and took care of his family. I did not understand the nuances of what being a man was really all about. At 22 I got married had kids and lived what I thought was the American dream, but by 31 that dream was over.
As a single women I didn’t want to repeat my mistake’s from my first marriage so I read relationship books, self help books, and then I tucked the books away and decided that I would let things happen as they where meant to. Unfortunately, the first man out of the gate that I dated was a serial liar, in a very big way. In my naive innocence, I could not see what it was about until it was too late, and I was faced with picking up the pieces of my life.
Instead of crying the blues and giving up, I picked myself up and resolved to date, and learn about men. Working with men daily in a business where I was able to see them as they were was a tremendous help. Because let’s face it they think differently then we do. Also learning how to fit in as one of the boys and remain feminine. I became a confidant and friend to many wonderful examples of men, and some not so wonderful. Here is what I learned.
• A MAN doesn’t have to be over 20 to be a real MAN
• He is honest whether he is a player or if he is into monogamy, so there are no lies.
• He knows what it means to be a friend and lover.
• He cares about how you feel and what you think, for real.
• He understands that accepting you as you are is what is important.
• He does not lie, omit, cheat, and does not play games.
• He can show you he loves you even if the words are not easy for him to say.
• He understand that it takes two to make a relationship work.(Not just lip service)
• He knows what it means to be there for his family and is.
• Even when he disagrees, he respects that your opinion is different.
• He wants you to be happy, safe, and content in your life with him and makes that happen.
He doesn't hit or abuse you.
• He takes care of his responsibilities, and does not run away from them and make excuses.
Accepting your partner for who they are and not trying to change them seems to be the hardest thing for people to do. You would think it would be simple but for many it is not. I once new an 18 year old who was a far better man then some of the men, I know.
Men today do want many of the same things women want. The key is to actually go on dates to find that one that is the right fit for you. Don’t discriminate, based on looks, income or appearance you may just be surprised and find a real Man where you least expect it. I know I did.