Tuesday, March 20, 2012

When is Enough Enough?


In our everyday lives, we try to be the best person and parent we can be. We go to work provide a safe home for our children and love them without conditions.  One of the biggest differences I have seen between kids today and when I was a kid is the feeling of Entitlement many of this generation feels. Now I will try not to get on my soap box here, but honestly think for a moment what it was like when you grew up?  For me, it was getting a part-time job when I was in high school and helping my parents by doing chores at home.  Playtime was after schoolwork and chores where done.  

There was no demanding to do what I wanted, definitely no back talk, because my mom would let me have it as would my dad, grandparents etc. if they heard it.  Yet, we respected our elders, and still managed to feel cool.  One of the advantages of going to school is I get to see and hear how other young people see the world.  For the most part, they are incredibly smart, intuitive, articulate, and a pleasure to meet and know as people.

When I look as a parent, whose had my own experience with rebellion, and I/ME-ness I can see that they aren’t that different.  Some feel entitled to what they have, what their parents do, and sacrifice for them.  I am not saying this is good or bad, you can decide for yourself.

The reality is if we give our kids everything they want, they lose any sense of real appreciation for what they can do for themselves.  We are not empowering them.  Our society shows them they should have whatever they want.  No expense is too high, to make your child happy.

Unfortunately, the message we are then giving them is to expect more.
Truthfully, we live in a world where in the average household both parents work for a living, or if it’s a single-family household one parent is working to take care of the children living with them.  It is a fact of where our economy and life have taken us all.  That at some point unless you are one of those rare households where a parent can stay at home, your child is going to be on their own for some portion of the day.

One thing that bothers me is the feeling that some of these young people have that they have raised themselves because they are (Latch-Key) kids.
My answer is this, your family raises you, they teach you values, they are there when you get in trouble, and they are there when you get hurt.  Watching TV and playing video games isn’t raising yourself. It doesn’t make you a parent.  Those boring long conversations your parents have with you, that make you roll your eyes.  It’s the gas, electric, food, and roof that your provided with.  It’s the groundings, and punishments you get mad about.  That is what raising a child is about, it’s being there even when you’re dog tired, or setting up a special time for a parent teacher conference.  All of those little pieces added together are what makes a parent/family today.

I will apologize now for getting on my soap box, but sometimes we need to state the obvious, if not for others then for ourselves. Every parent out there needs to pat himself or herself on the back for a minute and remind yourself that you are really doing a good job, if you’re doing the best you can.  

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As a recently married 46 year old I am in the process of finishing my degree. Working to take care of my family and live my life.Blogging, working, writing, and chugging along like most of us.  Who am I ? I am you, I am me, I am your mother, friend, the best and worst that we each have inside of us. I am a different perspective and find myself fascinated by the interesting moments in life.

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