We all have people who tie us in knots, those individuals who make us itch because we know the moment they come for a visit all their drama will come along with them. Those people who drain you whenever you come in contact, who by the end of the visit make you feel exhausted like you just ran a marathon. A very wise man advised me a while ago that I needed to start telling people to leave there drama at the door. They were welcome to visit and be a part of my life but their antics were not.
What do I mean by drama well; it is anyone who feels like it is ok to blame you for their problems instead of dealing with them like the rest of us do. They are people who can be called toxic, co-dependent, or even chronic crybabies.
We all know who they are, yet so many of us fall into the pattern of letting them get away with it. When we see someone else, dealing with a person like that our first instinct is to ask them why they would put up with that. All too often looking at them as if they are the weak ninny when all too often that ninny we are calling them, for putting up with it, we should be calling ourselves.
Why do they do that, is it laziness, or just being ornery? Perhaps it could just be their nature yet usually there are people they do not pull that with. It doesn’t matter why. What really matters is why we allow it. Each of us has the right to be treated with dignity and respect, to not feel like someone else’s dumping grounds and to be able to hold our head up and know that not being someone’s verbal punching bag doesn’t make us a bad person. It will not make you mean, and people will not look at you like you’ve suddenly turned into Satan. If you hold your ground you will respect yourself but others will as well, and your friends or family who do this will get the message loud and clear.
That is my rule, and I have learned to have no problem saying it loud and proud. “Sure come visit, but leave your drama at home.”
In addition, if you cross that line I will not take it meekly and be your doormat, you are going to feel my bite as I put you in your place.