Thursday, August 16, 2012

Respect, Responsibility and Accountability A Lesson Many Kids Are Missing


One of the things that always amazes me as a parent, is that we all never seem to learn from our mistakes. As a grown woman in hindsight I can see the merit of the punishments my parents distributed as needed. Groundings, spankings when I was younger, being put into the corner. Each one of these things did in fact help to teach me that there were consequences for our actions. I know there are many parents today who will probably disagree with me on this, and lord knows there are acres of psychologists who would say that this sort of disaplin must have scarred me for life. 

My generation grew up getting smacked when we were fresh or disrespectful to adults, we weren’t allowed to backtalk our parents, teachers or we got the crap beaten out of us. If we didn't make the team, oh well work at it and try harder next year. We weren't babied when life let us down. We didn't get presents at our sister or brothers birthday so we didn't feel left out, and we didn't interrupt adult conversations.

I think each of us if we are honest with ourselves when we hear about these kids and young people having melt downs and shooting up movie theaters or opening fire on their classmates, aren’t we saying to ourselves in the back of our minds “I’d never let my kid get so messed up.”
or, “My Johnny knows that violence isn’t the answer.”

The truth is we, "meaning my generation" in our 40’s, 30's and younger have all pretty  much turned our kids into spineless, selfish little wussies who don’t know how to lose or work harder to become better when they do fail. We are all too afraid to punish our kids when they act up because it isn't "politically correct".Yet many of these young people coming into adulthood now are not respectful of anyone, least of all themselves. They feel entitled because we told them that they were. They feel like they are too good to flip burgers at McDonalds or Wendy’s because we, made them that way.

We as a society, changed the rules and made sure that everyone made the team. We told ourselves that the only way to raise good kids was to be sensitive to little Johnny’s needs, and give him whatever he wanted. We gave in, we gave up and we threw all the lessons our parents showed us out the window as not good enough for our kids, because we had all the answers.

Well here is what I think and you may agree or disagree its up to you. 

1. Spankings hurt feelings, they don’t scar you for life not unless you're an idiot. (no that doesn’t mean beating your kids)
2. Everyone needs to learn how to lose, because it does build character and make us strive to succeed.
3. Bullies are a reality, ALL OVER THE WORLD instead of making laws to make it illegal show your children how to stand up for themselves. Don't make your kids a victim because its easier all these laws are not going to stop a bully from being a bully. But a good butt kicking may just show them your not there victim.
4. Stop making excuses for bad behavior, yes kids do need to learn how to work, they do need to learn what a budget its and here’s another small truth. “I remember the first time I bought something with the money I earned as a kid, and I felt proud because I paid for it.” We are not giving that gift to our kids when we foot the bill for everything.
5. A bar of soap goes a long way to stopping a potty mouth on a kid and FYI it won't kill them but believe me they will remember it.
A little soap goes a long long way.

I’m not telling you how to raise your kids, because we all have made mistakes along the way. What I am saying is we are making a problem that anyone with half a brain can see. We are not preparing our kids for life anymore. We are not preparing them to succeed or teaching them that its important to work hard. We are not teaching them respect for others. We are raising a society of hoochies and punks who think its your job to support them so they can hang out with their friends, party at the clubs and not take responsibility for their actions.Oh yeah and treat you with disrespect because we let them believe it was OK to do so.  

We can be part of the solution, or we can be part of the problem. As parents it is our job to prepare our kids for life which is sometimes good and sometime bad. What we teach them will make a difference in whether they learn to bend when life knocks them down or whether they will break and shatter.

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As a recently married 46 year old I am in the process of finishing my degree. Working to take care of my family and live my life.Blogging, working, writing, and chugging along like most of us.  Who am I ? I am you, I am me, I am your mother, friend, the best and worst that we each have inside of us. I am a different perspective and find myself fascinated by the interesting moments in life.

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