Back when I was married to my first husband we had our own fight with cancer, and no it wasn’t easy or fun. I can remember when the doctors made it clear that if the cancer had metastasized into his system there wouldn’t be anything for anyone to do. As a young mother with three kids and family over 2 hours away, there was a strong feeling of isolation for us both.
Looking back I believe that was a turning point for us both. For me it was a point when I realized I couldn’t fix everything and that I had to commit completely to the marriage I was in. For him I'm not sure if he realized just how close he came to having a bigger problem. I don't think I will ever know just what went through his head. Perhaps that was the point when he realized he wanted more from a marriage then what he had. It was both the beginning and end for us both and no not together.
What I do remember was sitting in that waiting room. The million thoughts that went through my head. What if the procedure didn’t work and they couldn’t get it all. What if they had to take a more drastic action. Would I be happy or sad? Had I been the person I was supposed to be for him? What would I do if something went wrong? What would he do if it didn’t go as planned? How would he deal with it?
Each of us in our own way deal with what life gives us, whether its a divorce, cancer, death, or long term illness we cope and we survive. There are so many survivors now it's hard not to bump into someone who hasn’t survived something in their life.
A friend of mine is dealing with her own life issues, and I am thankful that the worst has seemed to pass. Out of respect for her own privacy, I have avoided speaking about what she is going through because it is her personal story and not mine to share. It’s a blessing, that I know in my heart that things turned out the right way for a wonderful lady and her husband. Sometimes it is the people who we think are the toughest that show a strength of character yet maintain the ability to bend in times of adversity. Their strength is a lesson to us all, their courage in those private moments that no one sees allow them to share the true beauty of their spirit with others. She and her husband are two of those people. Always in my thoughts and prayers, as they face life head on, with blunt courage and laughter.
Two people couldn’t be more suited to each other if they tried, and it makes me glad to know that sometimes adversity does bring two people closer together. That it is finding that right person for you, who fits who you are that will get you through those hard times.