Thursday, September 13, 2012

Exhausted But Not Down

It’s now 11:37 pm and as usual there is still so much I need to take care of. Juggling school, work and family isn’t always easy. Right now bed looks good which is where I will be in about 20 minutes. So far so good school is going well, there is far more reading this semester  than in the past. That has more to do with the classes I am taking then anything else .

It is often hard to step back when I am in the thick of things and focused on what I need to accomplish. As I tend to focus exclusively on whatever I am working on. Whether its  a job I am working on, at work or an assignment I need to get done by a certain time. Admittedly that is one of my strengths as well as one of my faults.

the biggest drawback so far is I feel like there isn’t enough of me to go around, Tom and the kids are used to me being there listening whenever and wherever they need me to.  Today I wasn’t a good listener, I am tired and my patience just isn’t there. Some times its trying to live up to the expectations others have of us that can be the hardest to deal with. As a parent, and fiance I know thats on me and make no excuse for my slacking.

So I will continue to work on it, without losing sight of my dreams in the process. School is now so much a part of where I am, and where I want to go.  It fills a need I have ignored for the past 25 years as I  focused on raising my kids, working to provide for my family.I can now better empathize with men and women who do the same thing every day as they to strive for their dreams. There is a whole community of people going back to school either to retrain or to follow a new dream. So I know I am not alone in this journey and that I can accomplish this.

There are days like today when the demands of family can be overwhelming and yes even a little disheartening.It is what it is, as they say. If I could make it through 10 years of raising 2 kids on my own working my butt off to keep them safe and happy I can do this.

An acquaintance of mine used to say, “Tomorrow is another day and it will still be there when you come back tomorrow.” That is true but isn’t that what we all do? Get up take care of our responsibilities and go about our lives doing the best we can. So for now good night, I will be back at it tomorrow as I am sure many of you will be as well, hopefully a little more rested and ready to face the world head on.

Its More then Just a Dream

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As a recently married 46 year old I am in the process of finishing my degree. Working to take care of my family and live my life.Blogging, working, writing, and chugging along like most of us.  Who am I ? I am you, I am me, I am your mother, friend, the best and worst that we each have inside of us. I am a different perspective and find myself fascinated by the interesting moments in life.

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