Monday, February 25, 2013

Lines in The Sand

When dealing with a merged family occasionally it isn't hard to hit bumps in the road. One of the things it is important to remember is that you need to respect each other first. When I say respect what I am referring to is not just the way you treat each other but the way we allow others to treat our spouse or significant other.  It isn't unreasonable to expect your family to accept the person you're with.
We are not talking about people who are abusive or alcoholics  or even those who have more serious issues. One of the things that drives me crazy is when people don’t understand that asking you to choose between them and your spouse is truly crossing the line.It's completely reprehensible. 
None of us are perfect, yet when you love someone it always seems like the first thing some people will do is think that they have the right to make you choose between them and your significant other. My feeling is “Shame on you,” how could anyone be so selfish that they believe it would be alright under any circumstances to put a parent or friend in that position?
We all disagree from time to time and as individuals we each believe we are special, and to some extent we are. Knowing that someone loves you does not give you the right to make ultimatums. It doesn't give you a right to be disrespectful of someone's spouse or significant other.
That kind of behavior is extreme and unrealistic, when people love you they will get in your face at times. They will tell you when you're messing up, that is a part of loving someone. It doesn't however give anyone the right to draw lines in the sand and say it’s me or them. My feeling on this issue, is pretty straightforward if you don’t like what I have to say don’t listen, if you can't respect me and who I am with you have the option of not being a part of my life. That choice is solely yours alone. If I can respect your life choices and how you and your partner choose to live your life you should show me the same courtesy.

My mother always said, “If you can sleep with him I can sit down and eat dinner with him.” 

It’s one of those rare pearls of wisdom that still makes sense in a twisted sort of way. We each are entitled to happiness no matter who it may be that makes us happy. When we take the time to respect the relationship we are being supportive if when we disagree.  Respect is a two Way Street, when you are given respect you are required to return that same respect. It’s just good manners and common sense. 

Its More then Just a Dream

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As a recently married 46 year old I am in the process of finishing my degree. Working to take care of my family and live my life.Blogging, working, writing, and chugging along like most of us.  Who am I ? I am you, I am me, I am your mother, friend, the best and worst that we each have inside of us. I am a different perspective and find myself fascinated by the interesting moments in life.

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