Friday, June 14, 2013

Counting Your Blessings

Sitting here night after night, listening to my dogs gently snoring at my feet I am thankful for what I have. For me those blessings include a husband who loves me, and gets who I am. His support in everything is what makes my dreams possible. My kids are healthy and independent, wanting to do for themselves, showing an  ability to make their own decisions.
Yes sometimes they do come back to mom and ask for advice but it isn’t as often as I would like. Life is by no means perfect, but it is far better than what some call living.  I may have people who challenge me to reach for my full potential but I know I have their love and support in all things. For me that is the greatest treasure. In the big scheme of life I see so many people who do not have support, or even someone to turn to. In many cases they do this to themselves, by allowing bitterness and hate to twist the reality of their lives.
I cannot even imagine what it must be like to live that way, filled with nothing. Allowing one's life to become so twisted it is just a series of lies that they tell themselves. One has to wonder just how people can allow themselves to get like that. Is it those little disappointments in life that we all must face? Or is it a self delusion that some choose to create to excuse bad decisions or bad behaviors. It is one area for me that on a gut level I find it very hard to understand.
In my own life I do know I am blessed. As this is round two for me in the marriage world, I can say with all honesty that it does make a difference to be with someone who loves and respects me and is looking out for all of us, as well.

Drinking Iced Tea with Poppop 
At twenty three I wasn’t able to see my  ex for the man that he was. I saw his potential as a human being with the star filled eyes of my youth. This time there is no mistaking the difference, between someone who is capable of being emotionally honest, verses being with someone who cannot. Side by side, the difference is glaring and it makes me almost embarrassed that I couldn’t see it when I was in that place in my life.  Personally I prefer a friend and partner who is truthful with me and in my corner.Someone who is able to open their heart to my children, and grandchildren as well as his own.
Each night when I crawl into bed beside my husband I am left in awe of the wonderful man I was fortunate enough to find. It isn’t everyday that you find someone who can make you laugh,cry and  loves you without reservation. Looking back I can only be thankful for taking the time to find myself as a person before Tom found me.
In some ways I think that as human beings so many are afraid of being lonely that they forget the importance of learning to be OK alone. One of the greatest experience for me was learning to go to the movies alone, or even out to dinner. No it isn’t quite the same as going on a date or with someone. Finding that comfort with yourself first is very important in becoming a whole person. It is kind of hard to give of yourself if you don’t even know who you are.
It wasn’t until I became that honest with myself that I learned what I needed as a person in a relationship. No one knows what is around the corner for tomorrow, but in my heart I know that I am with someone who will be there no matter what. I have the certainty in my heart to know he is the type of man who is genuine, and understands what it means to have honor.
Meeting as equals in love is so much more.I was lucky enough to marry my best friend and it doesn’t get much better than that. We still argue, but we laugh as well, and we talk to each other not at each other. I can only thank God because my cup still is overflowing with goodness.

Its More then Just a Dream

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As a recently married 46 year old I am in the process of finishing my degree. Working to take care of my family and live my life.Blogging, working, writing, and chugging along like most of us.  Who am I ? I am you, I am me, I am your mother, friend, the best and worst that we each have inside of us. I am a different perspective and find myself fascinated by the interesting moments in life.

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