Friday, April 18, 2014

A Journey Full Circle

There are things I love and things I hate, in life. I am sure most people feel the same way at times. I am so close to getting where I need to be, steps, seconds a milisecond of space. This has been a very odd year for me, not because it’s been super wonderful or truly awful just strange and different. I am finishing up with school, which is both exciting and terrifying. We are in the process of taking on another booth at the store (yes this is scary). The biggest thing on my mind though is the book. I am finally there. After more than a year of struggle, heartache, and plain old ignoring it. I have, finally pushed my way through. I feel like I have just given birth.
The strange part is now it’s time to settle down and go back through it once before sending it off for editing. I know the part when it’s been edited, is supposed to be the hard part because someone is telling you what they don’t like. For me though that is more a matter of fixing things that are wrong or not working. It’s like walking your child to school the first day and hoping they will make friends or that the other kids will like them. In many ways that is what writing is like. You struggle with the road the story takes you on until it feels right. When it does though you can't type fast enough to get it all down.
So here I sit going through my first edit, (the one that I get to do!) each sentence read out loud. Every word weighed and judged to be worthy or not. I worry for this little tale of mine. Will it do well? Will people like it?  When I turned down this path I knew it was time. For me to do what I love. To write!
One of my favorite writers once said, “If you're a writer you need to just write. Going back to school won't do it for you. It has to be inside of you already. You have to find the courage to just do it and put it out there.”
Well I did the school part anyway and I have to say that it did make a difference for me. I feel like I’ve reconnected with who I am, and who I always wanted to be. My book may fall flat, or it may do well, regardless I will keep going. I’ve learned that it is as much a part of me as breathing. School is almost done, just a few short weeks until graduation. It seems like a lifetime since I started this journey. One filled with ups and downs that many have shared with me as I wrote about the experience.

So do I end this story here? Or perhaps the journey will continue on, in this moment I am unsure. Oh, I know I will continue taking classes probably part time so I can focus more on the writing and the store, while I am in the here and now. Alive!
I wanted to say thank you to those who have pulled up my blog posts week after week to follow my journey & others who've done so from time to time. Thank you, for keeping me going and checking in to see what was going on.

     In four short weeks I will graduate with honors Phi Theta Kappa. Me! I never expected that or all of the support along the way so thank you so very much. It mattered to me to know you were reading along following my adventure.
Patton my Cheerleader at home. 

Its More then Just a Dream

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As a recently married 46 year old I am in the process of finishing my degree. Working to take care of my family and live my life.Blogging, working, writing, and chugging along like most of us.  Who am I ? I am you, I am me, I am your mother, friend, the best and worst that we each have inside of us. I am a different perspective and find myself fascinated by the interesting moments in life.

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