Friday, October 24, 2014

47 and Holding Becoming In Touch

We all have a little gypsy inside us 
     Do you remember a country song called “29 and Holding.” Aside from making me smile it always brought home for me our desire to hold on to where we were verses where we are going. I’m forty-seven soon to be forty-eight. I have no desire to go backwards. I’m curvy, pleasingly plump, and bodaciously spectacular in all the right places, or in other words; I've developed that mid-life chubbiness.  I won’t lie there are times when it did bother me, when I would look in the mirror and see that my body was changing after maintaining for over ten years at a comfortable slimmer size.
     My husband loves my curves, and I know it’s the truth. As abrasive as he can be, I would be the first person to know it if he thought otherwise. I like who I am, how I look, in some ways my curvaceous figure reminds me a little of my late grandma whom I loved to death. She was, in fact, my idol growing up. I wanted to be like her, good, kind, warm, and loving. Her hugs were the best; she was soft and always smelled good.
     A very brilliant young woman got me thinking about how much time we spend watching our weight. Checking the scale to make sure we haven’t gained an ounce. Her point is how we need to accept ourselves as we are. Not as how NY or Paris runways claim we should look. I remember growing up in the eighties and hearing about models overdosing on drugs because it was more important to be skinny then healthy. These young girls were pushed to keep themselves looking like skeletons. It’s sad that the self-image society has sold so many young women could be so harmful. Like gullible ninny’s we buy into it.
     I like me. I’ve been heavy, skinny, curvy and some place in-between.  Where I am now, makes me laugh. I make silly faces at my kids without worrying if someone will see. When I Skype with my daughter, we get downright silly at times. There is a double chin face which is when you bring your chin all the way down to your chest, so it looks like you have a double chin. True, we honestly do, do this. I want my kids to be ok with who they are whether they are fat, skinny, curvy, tall, short or whatever the case may be.
     As a parent how can we tell our kids to be healthy if we sell them a bag of goods about what healthy is? Aside from smoking, I am healthy. My blood pressure is normal; my sugar and cholesterol is also normal. Healthy is in the eyes of the beholder. We each are unique and special, and come in all different shapes and sizes.  Women are getting stronger; the advent of the internet has given us all a platform to explore who we are. It’s helped us to realize that others out in the world we live in are not much different from us.
     There have been photo diary blogs. Podcasts, blogs, books articles all geared towards learning how to accept who we are.  We all watched Oprah struggle with her weight on national television. It seems that she finally did come to accept who she is as well.
     So here’s the deal, every blog post I am going to add one photo of myself. As I am, warts, and all. I know there will be good hair days and bad ones. Moments I would rather not share, but these blog posts are as much about honesty and acceptance as they are about sharing a good story.
 I’ve spent most of my life avoiding being in front of the camera as my friends and family can attest to. So share a year in my life, good bad or indifferent come along for the ride with me and the girls, (my dogs). See first-hand how silly life can be. You may be asking why I would do this, simple we all have fears.My image in  photos is one that has always bothered me. It doesn't matter if I look like a million bucks or look like a hag.

Ok Need some more coffee
     On a side note, I have been contemplating searching for an agent. I’m not sure how I feel about it, but I am looking into it. One drawback is it would take my next book longer to get to print. Also, I’m not sure I want to give away my copyrights to the highest bidder. It is a dilemma and if you have been through a similar situation, please feel free to chime in and let me know about your experience and where you weigh in on the issue. After all input is never a bad thing.  

Its More then Just a Dream

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As a recently married 46 year old I am in the process of finishing my degree. Working to take care of my family and live my life.Blogging, working, writing, and chugging along like most of us.  Who am I ? I am you, I am me, I am your mother, friend, the best and worst that we each have inside of us. I am a different perspective and find myself fascinated by the interesting moments in life.

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